February 2012
Normal people: Let's go to the concert at 5:00 PM so we're there in time for doors. Who cares about where we stand in the crowd!
Me and my friends: If we get there at 4:00 AM we can be the first people in line even though we have to wait 14 hours until doors open to get let in but at least we can be front row.
Cats: YOL9
Overweight woman: I am confident and I love myself!
Society: Awesome, you're so inspiring for young ladies. Everybody should feel beautiful no matter what size they are!
Underweight woman: I am confident and I love myself!
Society: Eww, you're gross! Stop promoting eating disorders and go eat a burger instead. Don't you know guys don't like skeletons?
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
California weather.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
R.I.P To the 31 U.S. Troops who were killed in a...
